WHAT? There are cat shows? Jesus. It makes sense to me that there would be dog shows, because dogs are awesome, but cat shows? It’s like holding an event to celebrate infectious diseases or shit. And I don’t mean “shit” as in “stuff.” I mean that I’m comparing a cat show to an event where the soul purpose is to showcase different types of feces.

Attention guests! Make sure you stop by the red booth within the next twenty minutes to get a free sample of liquid baby poo! Also, a special welcome to The Peterson family who traveled all the way from Louisiana to showcase their specimen of hand-collected whale shit!