War zones are usually a pretty shitty place to hang out, what with all of the bullets and attempted murder going on. There’s lots of things in war zones, like guns, camouflage, bombs, and tanks. You know what there’s not a lot of? Kittens. There’s not a lot of kittens in war zones. That’s because normal animals run in the opposite direction when they hear death coming. Not this little bag of sunshine. He’s sitting out in the open, just coaxing the soldiers to come out and pet him. “Come on out,” he says. “It’s nice out here.” Then BOOM. Dead.

The same thing happened to me earlier this week. This little baby was crawling around in the street outside my house. But I knew it was just trying to lure me outside. Yeah right, baby. I know you’re up to something. You must think I’m an idiot. I’m staying right here in my panic room where it’s safe.