Sweet haircut you fucking nerd. You see that on TV and figure you’d give it a try? I bet all the other cats picked on you when you showed up at school sporting that sweet ‘do. I dig the bushy leg thing you’ve got going on there. What’s that called, The Fall Out Boy? You’re so getting strung up to the flag pole by your underwear at school tomorrow.

Look cat, I’m going to level with you. You’re pretty much an outcast at this point. Even that cat with one leg missing at school could get a hotter date to prom than you. And someone started a rumor that you’re super gay now. Some people might tell you I started that rumor, but really I think we’re above the blame game by now, aren’t we cat?